Harry Potter's Fifth Year
by Caderyn
Summary: Set in 5th year. Will feature lots of tangled love lives and Charlie Weasley in later chapters! Starts with DUDLEY IN LOVE! May start off slow but it'll get more interesting, I promise!
1. Privet Drive

Summary: well here's my attempt on the 5th book. It starts with (DUM DUM DUM) Dudley's in love! Yep, don't fall off your chair. Basically this 1st chapter is about Harry's summer in Privet Drive. I promise I've got a story planned already and it'll get more exciting after this.

Rating: G-PG

Pairing: Well, if u want to count Dudley/a girl… There are gonna be lots of pairings in later chapters. For now, there's a slight Krum/Hermione/Ron.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter & co. belong to the brilliant J. K. Rowling and the lucky WB folks. If I had owned HP, would I be writing a fanfic? No! I'd be making millions in the bookshop, actually selling my story. So don't sue me.

**HARRY********POTTER**** AND THE ORDER OF ****PHOENIX**** (My version!)******

**Chapter One: Privet Drive**

Harry couldn't wait to get away from Privet Drive. If he had to take one more day of Dudley, well, let's just say Harry had to train his stomach to keep what little food he gets from Aunt Petunia (dinner of carrot sticks and an overdone potato) down every time Dudley appeared around the house. 

No, Dudley had not become disgustingly fatter (though his diet seemed to have failed pathetically) that the sight of him was enough to bring Harry's food to his throat. On the contrary, the increasingly humongous boy had been 'grooming' himself more and more lately. You see, Dudley's hormones have kicked in and now he seemed to be in love. Who was the poor wretch, one might ask? Well her name was Sally Trapers and Harry could not help but feel sorry for the girl. 

Dudley had spoken of no one else ever since he came back from school that summer and had even traded his playstation controller (well not literally because let's face it, this is Dudley we are talking about) for some nice – and expensive – colognes ('nothing less for a Dursley man' remarked uncle Vernon, rather loudly, at the Department store) and a tub of hair gel the size of Hagrid's rock cakes. Personally, Harry thought that Dudley looked more like a penguin who'd fallen to a tub of grease than a dashing Casanova.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia hadn't forgotten last year's incident with the Weasleys and were set to make Harry's summer as miserable as possible. Harry was reduced to garden duties most of time but was otherwise ignored. Whenever Harry was in the house, they acted as if he was invisible. At least being ignored was slightly better than being yelled at. They were probably scared that the Weasleys were going to pop up, blast their living room apart, and leave some rather nasty sweets for Dudley. Uncle Vernon had forbidden Harry from going near the fireplace in case 'some of your ruddy lot are hiding in there' and had replaced the old electric fire for a sturdier one. One, that Harry suspected, uncle Vernon hoped the Weasleys wouldn't be able to blast away. Aunt Petunia made sure that she hand-picked every one of Dudley's sweets and even testing some of them first before allowing Dudley to eat them. Harry had also been told to stay away from the kitchen (in case he wanted to slip something in their food). He was now to have his meals at his room - which was fine for Harry since the less Dursleys he saw, the better.

Harry had been extremely grateful for the letters sent by his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Ron was complaining of a boring summer and said that he'd pester his mum so that Harry could come to the Burrow. However, Dumbledore had apparently written to the Weasleys saying that Harry was to stay with the Dursleys for most of the summer. Harry had wondered about this. Why was Dumbledore so sure that he'd be safer in Privet Drive (with the worst bunch of muggles) than in the Burrow (with the best wizarding family Harry had ever known)? But he trusted Dumbledore and knew that the old wizard had a very good reason behind his decision.

Ron had complained even more about Hermione going over to Bulgaria to see Viktor Krum. This is what he'd written: _Is she bloody mad? Doesn't she know how dangerous it is with You-Know-Who back? What was she thinking? And Krum being a Dumstrang student and all! For all she knows, he could be a death eater! Harry had tried his best to console Ron, telling him that she was enjoying herself and that she was writing regularly - which meant that Krum had not chopped her up and presented her as an offering to Voldemort. This had made Ron even angrier since Hermione hadn't apparently written to him for weeks._

Hermione had been using Krum's hawk to deliver her letter to Harry. The creature was black and sleek and Hedwig hadn't liked it at all. She'd refused to let it drink from her water dish or share her snacks. Harry had to sneak off to the kitchen to get a cup of water and a handful of cereals (after all, Bulgaria was a long trip). It was a good thing that aunt Petunia hadn't caught him yet so far. She would probably cut off his food entirely.

Hermione had mostly written about the beautiful sites to which Krum had taken her and about (surprise, surprise) homework. Apparently Krum was brilliant at Transfiguration and had been generously helping her with her essay. But Hermione had also written about how annoyed she was with Ron. She said that in every one of his letters, Ron kept on asking if she was still alive and telling her to go home. Hermione was so miffed by this that she hadn't bothered replying. Harry had tried to pacify the situation the best he could, but when it comes to a conflict between Ron and Hermione, Harry had learned that it's best to keep his nose out.

Sirius Black had also been sending frequent letters to Harry, mostly to check up on him. He was currently staying with Remus Lupin. They were both worried about Harry staying with the Dursleys but said that Dumbledore had insisted that it was necessary. This is what Sirius wrote: _I'm sure Dumbledore knows what's best, __Harry__. Plus, if the Dursleys got too horrible, you could always threaten them with a little visit from your homicidal-maniac Godfather. The least I could do is use my reputation to help out my Godson! Harry had also asked about Dumbledore's secret instruction at the hospital wing that night, but Sirius would tell nothing of it._

So all in all, Harry longed for the day that he would be back at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, he would still have to wait for another one-and-half month.

A/N: Well, how didja like it? Flames, comments, criticisms, praises are all accepted so PLEASE REVIEW!! Yup, wanna know how? Click that tiny button down there and go crazy! The next chapter's gonna be about harry's birthday. Wanna know how it went, what he got? Review away! I usually get really happy when people review and when I'm happy, I write!


	2. Birthday

Well, this is the 2nd chapter. I'm not very happy with the way the story's gone coz it's a bit slow at the moment. I was going to skip this whole chapter but thought that it was necessary later on. Oh well, I hope it'll improve later on.

Summary: Harry's birthday. He got a few pressies from several people and found out how he was to spend his big day.

Pairings: Well, bit of Dudley/Sally, H/G, R/H – yep, that's where I'm goin'

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to the brilliant J. K. Rowling and the very lucky Warner Bros. This is just my theory on how Harry's 5th year would go. Please don't sue me.

Chapter 2: Birthday

Today was Harry's birthday. When he had woken up in the morning, he had found a pile of presents on his bed. The owls must have come in while he was asleep last night. He reached for the nearest one. It was a neatly-wrapped medium-sized package. 'Must be Hermione's', Harry thought. He opened the note attached to it:

_Dear __Harry__,_

_Happy Birthday! I hope that you're not too miserable with your uncle's family. I assume that you are not getting much food so I sent you some cakes. They're called Baklava. Bulgarians eat them as a traditional desert. Viktor's mum had baked them as a present for you. She wished you a very happy birthday._

_ I hope that you like your present. I trust it will be useful this year. It is the newest thing developed by Bulgarian wizards. The instructions are attached to it. Viktor's going to write something in Bulgarian so you can try it out. You'll understand once you've read the instructions._

Harry saw a series of Bulgarian scripts written underneath Hermione's neat handwriting. He could only make out 'Harry', 'Ron', and 'Hermione' written in between the foreign characters. Harry wondered why in the world did Hermione want Viktor to write in Bulgarian? He continued to read Hermione's letter.

_Viktor's taking me to a winery today. Do you know that __Bulgaria__ is famous for its wine? I've only had a sip or two but I thought that it was nicer than the one I had at my __Aunt __Jocelyn__'s house in __France__._

_I've written to __Ron__ but he hasn't written me back. I'm still annoyed at his behaviour. I don't understand him at all. Last year he idolised Viktor! But I know that the last thing you need right now is a rift between me and __Ron__ so I'll try to patch things up with him._

_Love from,_

_Hermione_

_P.S. I'll try to meet you both in Diagon Alley before school starts._

Harry unwrapped the package and found a boxful of cakes. Having been surviving on a very deficient diet, he took three cakes and put them in his mouth. They taste really nice and rather sweet. He then tore the paper coverings off Hermione's present. It was a tiny glass bottle placed in a small box. But what was really odd was the object inside it.

It was a small figurine of a jolly old man about the size of his palm. It was wearing a white shirt, red-and-green-striped shorts with suspenders, brown knee-high boots, and a green bowler's hat with propellers on top. It also had a white beard and pink bulging cheeks. Harry thought it looked like Santa Claus.

He took out the instructions from inside the bottle.

_Congratulations! You have just purchased the new travel-sized lingua! The specific model that you hold in your hands is able to translate Spanish, French, German, Latin, and Bulgarian into English. To activate it, simply hold the model over a text you wish to translate or to a talking person and wait for the propeller on its head to spin. Then place the lingua beside one of your ears to hear the English translation._

_The new compact size is perfect for travel (it can fit in your pockets) or for use in the library (its voice is very small)._

_We hope that you enjoy your lingua and if you ever had any problems, simply owl us at the address noted below._

Harry smiled. You could always trust Hermione to give very useful gifts. Harry took out the _lingua from its bottle and held it over the note that Krum had written in Hermione's letter. After several seconds, the propeller on its head began to spin and Harry brought the tiny figure to his right ear._

'Happy Birthday Harry. I hope you like your present. I had used it when I was at your school last year. Please give my regards to your family and to your friend, Ron. Tell him that I will take good care of Hermione.'

It enunciated every word but its voice held a very happy tone. Harry stared at its jolly face before setting it down on his bedside table. It stared at him with its gleaming eyes.

Harry opened a card written in Hagrid's handwriting.

_Happy Birthday __Harry__!_

_Sorry I can't send you nothing this year. Me and Olympe are very busy this summer. Don't want to let Dumbledore down. Can't tell you nothing about it now but you'll find out soon enough. Don't think I'd be there for classes when you come back. Feed Fang while I'm gone, will you?_

_Say hi to Ron and Hermione for me,_

_Hagrid___

          Harry was surprised to find that Hagrid's task was taking longer than expected. He didn't know what it was, but assumed that Hagrid and Madame Maxime were to gather up the giants' support against Voldermort. He really didn't want to think about Voldermort at this particular time, so he reached for his next present.

_          Hi __Harry__,_

_          Happy Birthday! Here is an assortment of tricks and jokes that you would someday find in __Fred__ and __George__'s joke shop. Mum wasn't too happy when she found out that they were still keen on that, but they surely shut her up when they showed her the amount of money that they had! Wonder where they got all that from? Maybe they managed to track down old Bagman after all! They even bought me new dress robes! Anyway, they'd like you to be their first customer. Thought you might want to try some of them on your cousin!_

_          Mum and Dad said that you still have to stay with the muggles. __Bill__ and __Charlie__ are coming home next month. I hope that you'd be there by then. I'll try writing to Dumbledore but mum said that he's very busy right now. _

_          Hermione finally wrote back but I don't really want to reply just yet. She is probably having too much fun with her dear __Vicky__ to be waiting for a letter from me.      See you soon (hopefully),_

_Ron___

_P.S. Ginny had insisted on giving you a separate gift, I don't know why. She'd been really secretive lately. Probably working on your present!_

Harry opened the package and found a variety of items: mints, bunny slippers, rubber pizza, mirrors, and even some severed ears! Making a mental note to try it on some unsuspecting Hogwarts students once he returned, Harry set them aside on the floor. As tempting as it was to give Dudley the tentacle-inducing hair gel, he wasn't willing to risk shelter and expulsion from Hogwarts. He reached for the last package.

Harry tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a glass box containing a golden snitch! He read the note:

_Dear __Harry__,_

_Happy Birthday! How are you doing? I hope that you can come and stay with us soon. Mum said that we would probably have to wait until the beginning of next month to write to Dumbledore again._

_The situation is rather depressing, isn't it? But I know that Quidditch always makes you happy so I decided to give you this golden snitch. It is the exact same one that was used in the World Cup last year. I wrote to __Viktor__Krum__ asking him if I could give it to you. I didn't expect him to write back, but he sent it to me immediately. He said that it would worth more to you than it would for him. Hermione is right! He is very nice despite being a world-class seeker._

_Well, all the best on your birthday!_

_Love,_

_Ginny_

Harry took out the snitch and held it with his thumb and index finger. Its golden wings spread beautifully and it began to flutter. Ginny was right, the snitch seemed to make him happier. He smiled, thanking her for being so thoughtful. Since the snitch was about to escape his hold, Harry put it back in its box and place it beside the lingua.

He went downstairs to get his breakfast, which was left in the hall by Aunt Petunia. Harry didn't expect any of the Dursleys to remember his birthday - they never did - but today he found a note along with the food.

_We are leaving you with __Mrs.__Figg__ to take __Dudley__ to see __Sally__. Don't you dare say a word about your abominable school! Be ready by 10. Don't be late!_

Typical. Not only did they forget his birthday, Harry was to spend it with loony old Mrs. Figg. She owned a ridiculous number of cats, smelled of cabbage, and served Harry with cakes that Harry suspected had been there since the Dursleys moved in two streets away.

Just then, the dining room door opened and the Dursleys marched out fully dressed. Without saying a word, Uncle Vernon dragged Harry by the scruff of his neck out the door, passed the garden, across the pavement, finally stopping at Mr. Figg's doorstep. Harry had tried to say that he wasn't ready, but was ignored by Uncle Vernon. He rang the bell.

An old lady appeared at the doorway. Uncle Vernon said, 'Mrs. Figg, I'll trust that you won't hesitate to discipline the boy whenever you can. He might also say a lot of rubbish about his school, but do ignore him. The boy craves nothing more than attention. We'll come and get him later tonight. Have a good day.'

Before Harry could protest, Uncle Vernon turned and left. Mrs. Figg looked quizzically at Harry's clothes. He hadn't been given a chance to change from his bedwear.

'Well, don't just stand there, boy. Come in! Have you had anything to eat?'

'Um, no, actually. I had just been getting my breakfast when Uncle Vernon pulled me here.'

Harry entered her living room. There seemed to be something missing. There weren't any cat noises. In fact, there were no cats in sight. 

'Mrs. Figg, what happened to your cats?'

'Oh, I had to send them away. You see, I'm to take a trip soon. I can't exactly leave them alone, now can I? Tea?' Mrs. Figg was now in the kitchen, reaching up to the cupboards.

Harry sat down on the breakfast table. Her kitchen surprisingly no longer smelled of cabbage. 'Yes, thank you. Where are you going?'

'Oh, just to see a very old friend of mine.' Mrs. Figg said mysteriously. She brought over some food for Harry.

Harry had expected the mouldy cakes and cabbages – and he would have gladly accepted them, since he hadn't eaten anything all morning except the three pieces of Baklava sent my Hermione - but Harry was pleasantly surprised when Mrs. Figg had brought him a plateful of toasts with butter and jam, a bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, and some tea. The little old lady had to make two trips of course, but she did them so quickly that Harry didn't have time to help.

'Well, don't just stare, boy! Food is there to eat!' bellowed Mrs. Figg. 'So I heard that it was your birthday.'

Harry quickly nodded as he took a bite off his toast but then realised that it was odd that this old lady knew about his birthday. The Dursleys surely wouldn't have bothered to tell her. Harry doubted that they even remembered. How did she know?

'How did you know?'

'I have my sources.'

Harry thought that Mrs. Figg was being strangely mysterious today. She seemed to be hiding something. She almost felt like an entirely different person to Harry; one who was much nicer and saner.

'Did you get lots of presents from you friends?'

'Yes, I just opened them this morning. They, um, sent them through the post. One of my mates is in Bulgaria for her holidays to see her, um, friend.'

It occurred to Harry that he didn't quite know what Hermione and Krum were. When he left for Bulgaria at the end of the school term, they seemed to be just friends. Krum was a bit too old for Hermione. But she did come and visit him like he asked her to. Harry decided that he needn't worry about Hermione's love life. Ron was there to do that.

'She must be having the time of her life.' Mrs. Figg's old blue eyes stared straight into Harry's. They were old, but somehow still had a healthy glow about them. They reminded him of someone he knew…

'I'd imagine so. She's going to a winery today. She said that Bulgarian wine is tastier than the one she had in France.'

So this is how the rest of the day went. Mrs. Figg kept on asking Harry questions about his friends and school. Harry had to be very vague, of course, but she never questioned him. He actually enjoyed having a normal human conversation with someone.  And she wasn't as loony as she used to be. She also gave him lots of food. This was the first time, since leaving Hogwarts, that Harry's stomach was ever full. Harry wondered why she was so different than before.

Harry also noticed a lot of weird things. For once, Mrs. Figg didn't mention her cats at all. On previous occasions that Harry was left with her, she couldn't talk of anything else. Harry was starting to suspect that this wasn't the real Mrs. Figg. Ever since last year's incident - when Barty Crouch Junior was posing as Mad-Eye-Moody for a whole year - Harry was very suspicious of people who did not act like they regularly do. With a little help from the Polyjuice potion, a death eater could pose as anyone. But since Dumbledore had been so insistent for Harry to stay in Privet Drive, he must have checked that there weren't any death eaters nearby. 

When the Dursleys came and got him later that night, Mrs. Figg said that Harry had been excellent to watch over and she didn't need to discipline him at all. Uncle Vernon frowned at this and Aunt Petunia gave a little snort. Dudley seemed too dazed to care. It looked like his 'date' with Sally had gone very well.

Before Uncle Vernon could grab him, Mrs. Figg pulled Harry aside and said very quietly, 'I have a feeling that we'll soon meet again, Harry. Do enjoy the rest of your holidays.' Harry couldn't have replied because Uncle Vernon pulled him back while muttering a half-hearted 'thank you' to the old lady.

Harry spent the night thinking about weird old Mrs. Figg. What does she mean by saying that they'll meet again? Were the Dursleys going to leave him there again anytime soon? Harry decided not to think about it and went to bed. After all, he was to spend the next day cleaning the garden ornaments.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? All comments are welcomed so please review away! I promise that it'll get more interesting with later chapters. With the next chapter, we'll find out if Harry could come to the Burrow before the holidays end. Tell me your suggestions on what should happen. I've got a story in mind but I'm open to any suggestions!


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